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[18 Jun 2007|01:57am] |
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I wanna start using livejournal again!
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[30 Dec 2006|07:20pm] |
Christmas was great, definitely top 5 material.
However, I'm bored out of my mindddd.
I need out of Barrie just for a bit but I'm finally getting my license so I can't.
LAME!
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[24 Nov 2006|07:58pm] |
This isn't meant to be offensive. In all honesty, the person this is about will probably never read this because it's just "not him" anymore, and I don't know why I'm being indirect when everyone knows who it's about.
I'm feeling so good about life, right now.
Things were shitty and now they're not because I'm not going to let myself care about you anymore, I cared when I shouldn't have. I cared for way too long.
Nothing you can do or say will get back the respect I had for you because that's long gone.
I can wish with everything in me that you would go back to the person you were, but that's not happening. You don't even want to admit that you used to be a caring person who gave a shit about people and was sensitive. It's so sad because I'm not sure how you're going to ever have a functioning relationship when you can't give a fuck about the people who loved you most.
There is no reason for you to be this cocky. Absolutely no reason. There used to be but, once again, that's gone.
One day you're going to start some stupid fight and get the shit beat out of you. I just hope you know that. You act like you're untouchable but it's just going to hurt you so much more when you do get hit.
Some people are pissed at me for wanting to still be your friend but that's my choice and I'm not going to let you ruin a perfectly fine friendship.
More than anything, I want you to figure out who you are. Not who your friends want you to be, not who your family wants you to be, not who I want you to be. You haven't been thinking of that enough.
Good luck.
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[15 Nov 2006|02:07pm] |
I'm going to wait for this.
For you.
Cause you're special, and you're worth it.
EDIT:
You don't want me to wait becuase you don't want things to work out with us.
You don't even think we were a good couple to begin with.
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[04 Nov 2006|04:33pm] |
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I love you, Nicole, you are amazing.
This is happening too much.
Once was enough.
This is the worst semester.
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[26 Oct 2006|07:29pm] |
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music |
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What Ever Happened - The Strokes |
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I will not be wearing pants all weekend.
Minus when I'm at the university tour and stuff.
But 140+ people at Nicole's on Friday.
My legs are pale and stick-like.
SWEET!
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[21 Oct 2006|09:17pm] |
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Why is it that as soon as things start looking up, life sends you a big "fuck you"?
So helpless.
I've moved into serious Spill Canvas mood.
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[14 Oct 2006|03:43pm] |
Fearfest tonight.
That is all.
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[06 Oct 2006|09:48pm] |
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I hope people don't stop treating each other well.
That people remember and go on like this.
I never want to go through this again.
I never want anyone to ever go through this again.
I don't think any of us will get over this.
It's not the kind of thing you get over.
You just try and move on without him.
This is harder than I thought.
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[30 Sep 2006|10:00pm] |
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music |
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modest mouse. |
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It gets easier with time.
It all gets easier.
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[21 Sep 2006|11:23pm] |
I feel so sick because the news keeps hitting me over and over.
We hung out on Saturday.
We talked at school the day before.
I don't understand why this happened.
Oh my God.
Scott Anderson, I'm gonna miss you and I love you.
Oh God, Cathy. Oh God.
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[18 Sep 2006|09:24pm] |
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music |
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Probably - Kevin Devine |
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I'm really nervous about starting tutoring tomorrow.
I'm so scared the kids won't like me, and that they won't listen to me.
Actually, I decided I will whisper threats into their ears while they work and then they'll have to listen to me.
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[17 Sep 2006|04:47pm] |
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Last night was fantastic. I love this year and that everyone hangs out now so it's not really that divided.
I didn't drink much at all, I still have like 7/8 of my 26er, but all of my Fruitopia is gone. DISAPPOINTED! I was drunk for a bit but then didn't want to be one of the people that were grinding with poles, so I stopped. I actually liked the DJ and didn't laugh at all, except at the beginning when I saw he was white and didn't know he was. Turns out he's a really smart guy and is very nice, I didn't actually find that out, him and Bobby made friends though. I was a classy kid the whole night through, I must admit. I may have yelled a lot but that's just how it is. I'm not like the coke addict that ended up passing out in Jordan's shed, puked all through the backyard and in the bathroom, then ended up walking home to his apartment with Nicole's sweater on.
I liked taking drives, though. Bobby got to drive all the drunk kids home with Jordan's car. Which I think made him feel important. Also I'm pretty sure that he ended up taking me home to pick up lawn chairs, a mop, and a vacuum...which I got. Mother fucking Ladi was there!!!! I haven't seen that boy in so long, it was amazing. I loved every second.
That is the end, well not really, but oh well.
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| I'm in the mood to post a long one |
[15 Sep 2006|11:43pm] |
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music |
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under feet like ours - tegan and sara |
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I LOVE THIS YEAR!
It's so much better than last year, it's astonishing.
I went to the doctor's, I have a viral infection or something. I reeeally don't care, it's not that bad. I can still go to school and stuff and hang out on weekends but I'm not supposed to share anything with people, mom says. I didn't like sharing to begin with.
I get to start tutoring the grade 11's in math on Tuesday, I'm so pumped. You have no idea. Also, we all decided to go to Montreal instead of Cancun, which is good because I wouldn't go to Cancun, for many reasons. Mostly cause it's $1700.00 and then you'd still have to pay for all this stuff when you're down there.
Jordan's birthday party is tomorrow. Turns out my entire school is going. COOL! I think I'm bringing Bobby, and getting ready with the girls, because I like to make Bob feel awkward like that. And I'm just really happy to be seeing him this much lately. I mean, after two months of not seeing him, getting to see him last Sunday and then again tomorrow will make up for it so much. I just need to find a way for him to get home. Mind you, my friends love him and would drive him home for gas money or food.
This Wednesday I go to camp. Some Pioneer thing, I'm not sure. It sounds really iffy. I'll just use the Febreeze on everything. But I'm bunking with Laura, Nichole, and Lyncoln so it will probably even out. Something about how they're fucking hilarious, but I don't know for sure. Then we get to kaiak and canoe in this lovely late September weather. But amped on bonfires. They don't allow cell phones or ipods, but that's probably more of a suggestion, not really a "rule" ...pretty much I get homesick and need to talk to my mom a lot.
Hm, it's 12 am, I'm really hyper so I'm gonna go do all my homework so that this weekend I can just hang out and not have to worry about anything.
Bobby arrives soon I guess and I'm being lame and cleaning all day and so he's impressed. I really love that boy, I try not to, cause we can't see each other that much, but I can't help it. It's a good and bad thing, I guess. But right now I'm happy, that's all that matters.
Goodnight, livejournal.
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[15 Sep 2006|01:11am] |
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This is so fucking hard.
But I'm serious about it.
Last chance.
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[09 Sep 2006|07:27pm] |
Saying goodbye to Paris was gut-wrenching.
She got into the cab and I had to go inside, because I was starting to cry too much.
Then today I got a text from her that she sent before she left, but my phone was off, and I started crying again.
Then I heard about Nicky's neice and started crying more, it's so horrible.
I really hope she's okay, and that her brother is, too.
I'm gonna go paint my room, take my mind off things.
I can't wait 'till December.
Fuck.
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[01 Sep 2006|12:51pm] |
This semester's gonna suck.
Just...don't go.
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[28 Aug 2006|05:12pm] |
Angel!: If there were a place that we didn't know of, and there,
on some unsayable carpet, lovers displayed
what they could never bring to mastery here - the bold
exploits of their high-flying hearts,
their towers of pleasure, their ladders
that have long since been standing where there was no ground, leaning
just on each other, trembling - and could master all this,
before the surrounding spectators, the innumerable soundless dead:
Would these, then, throw down their final, forever saved-up,
forever hidden, unknown to us, eternally valid
coins of happiness before at last
genuinely smiling pair on the gratified
carpet?
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[28 Aug 2006|04:58pm] |
I just want to read Brautigan for the rest of my life.
Nothing else.
Just Brautigan.
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[26 Aug 2006|02:50pm] |
Ha, I'm the worst.
I just found out yesterday that Paris' surprise party is Tuesday.
However, it's a cocktail party so I'm pumped about that.
But I forgot to ask where it's being held, so I'm not so pumped about that.
I'm gone to the mall, now.
It's new and finally open and apparently ridiculously busy.
I hate busy places.
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